Silent screams

       With a smile planted on my face and words coming outta my mouth such as, "Yeah, it'll be fine. It'll all work out." I'm silently screaming and freaking out. What if we don't find a place in time? What if we have to pay rent for this place again? How will we make all our bills? Ugh!
      I can't show these fears or concerns, because then I'll be told I'm worrying over nothing. I need to calm down. Why are you being so negative? It's not my intentions to be negative, I call it being realistic. These are legit concerns aren't they? Do I start to pack when we don't even have a place to go yet?
     With all these questions going unanswered and not knowing when they will be answered, I tend to get inside my own head a bit too much. I overthink things and freak out, way too much!! Deep, deep down I do know everything will work out, but I just need to remember that.  I need to breath, calm down. Even as I say these words, I'm still screaming inside. It's hopeless, I'm a lost cause.