Under Attack!

     I have been dealing with our ant problem since we've moved into this house about 2 1/2 years ago and they've always been the little harmless black ants that are more annoying than anything. Now with the start of this winter I am having to fight against these big red ants that bite! I have an exterminator and he's been out 4 times in the last six weeks! Still, these ants torment me. I'm afraid to let my children play outside for fear they will get all bit up and I dare not leave a crumb on the counter or they'll swarm. With 2 kids and the everyday life of a mommy it is impossible to have this house totally sterile all the time. Just not gonna happen, yet I do know that my house isn't dirty enough to warrant all these ants. They appear in the strangest areas, the medicine cabinet for example. Really?! What in the world do they want in there? I have the exterminator coming one last time and we will see if anything changes. If not? Then the ants can have the house and we're moving. (Well I wish anyway)

Laughs!!

    Never seems to amaze me how my youngest can make me laugh so hard. She always seems to know when I need a smile. She is only 4 and she has such a personality!! After a long 2 days of jury duty she is the one to lift my spirits.  She will randomly just call my name and much like "Family Guy" I ignore her until she says my name so many times I yell, "What?!" She then looks at me and says, "I love you." I melt. My little Grace is full of stories and lots of love. She tells me that tomorrow we need to go to the nail salon and get our toes done. Really? At age 4 we're already high maintenance? She always gives me a play by play of every activity she is doing, even when she is going to the bathroom. She'll yell, "Mom? I'm going potty!" I think ok, I don't really need to know, but thanks for the update. Her random acts of love are always heartfelt. Outta nowhere she will run up to me and give me kisses and hugs and say, "You're the best mom!" Again, I melt! She is such a perfect little girl, full of love and life and I am so glad God has allowed me to be her mommy. Looking forward to the years ahead.

Amazing Friends!

      Thank God for my amazing friends!! With all that I have going on and with my husband needing to be everywhere as well, I have been desperately trying to find rides to and from places. God has definitely blessed me with some amazing women, because on top of everything else I have going on this week, I got jury duty too! Amazing timing! Luckily (knock on wood), I haven't actually been called in yet, but in case I do I have no ride there. Enter my great friend, Christine.
     Christine is a woman I met last year because our daughters were in the same class last year and luck has it that they share a class this year too. Our girls became instant friends and through their insistence we arranged playdates and now we too are dear friends. This woman has been a Godsent to me. Between driving Maddy home from school occasionally and even watching my girls so I can work she now has offered to drive me to jury duty if I do get called in for it. Seriously? Little things like this make me realize how truly blessed I am even though I tend to bitch about our car situation. It makes me stop and see that at least I have a great support system.
      At the last minute I realize, "oh crap!", I have to get a blood test done on Grace for this program I am in today by 11 or I will be dropped. Again, I have no vehicle. Enter another great friend, Becca.
       I met Becca through church and instantly knew we were gonna be close. She is so real and genuine, a nice refreshing change. I don't feel like I have to pretend I have it all together with her. She takes me like I am, flaws and all. I tell her that I am unable to make it to get the test done and she chimes in that she needs to get the same thing done for her girls so she'll drive me. Mind you, she is totally going out of her way because there is a facility way closer to her to get this done. But no, she insists on taking me and I am completely grateful to her for it.
      In all my trials right now, I am always being shown through someone else that I am blessed beyond words with friends that are completely selfless. These are just two of the woman in my life that have graced me with their amazing friendship this past year and words can't express enough how thankful I am to them. I just wanna be a woman like this, a friend that helps with nothing expected in return and I hope that I can be a blessing to someone else like they are to me.

I Do Have Good Ideas, I Swear!!

      So in dealing with this one car situation, I have been doing a lot of research to try to find solutions to this predicament. I came up with two ideas that I thought would be very effective and helpful. First, I thought well maybe if I drove him to work sometimes and stuck his bicycle in the back of the car I'd dropped him off with his bike and he could ride home. On his ride he could release some endorphins and clear his head so when he does get home he can be completely focused on the kids and I. Plus he would be getting some great exercise too!!  The only reason I even entertained this idea was because HE was the one who said, "If I have to ride my bike, then I will. I like riding my bike."  Secondly, I looked into purchasing a scooter. It is less than $1000 out the door, tax and license included. It takes less than $5 dollars to fill tank and it lasts 100 miles. Perfect!!!! We won't burn through gas in my car which is a V8 and won't add unnecessary miles on the car which is already over 100,000.
     In my head I'm making some excellent points. But before I can even get two sentences out of my mouth his response is, "Absolutely not!" "Why?", I ask. He doesn't give any good argument as to why not, it's just because. Now I automatically think how unreasonable of him. I'm giving perfectly good reasons why this is a wonderful solution to our dilemma and in my head it is a no brainer.
    Now I've never blamed him for our one car situation. I've never thought well, if he was a better provider then we wouldn't be in this situation. Not once, I always attributed our situation to life. Things just happen. Now that I have 2 great solutions and he isn't even opened minded to one of them I can't help but start to feel a little resentful. Can't he see it's whats best for the family? Doesn't he see what a burden this has put on me?
    So now I sit here wondering what else I can do.  How can I help fix this? Why won't he let me help? At the end of the day I realize all I can do is get on my knees and pray. Give it to the Lord and have faith that He will provide. Until then I need to try to have a better attitude. I'm really trying, really.

Life's Little Blessings

           My husband was extremely loving yesterday and so kind with his words. Saying how beautiful I was and that he loved me so much! I asked where all this affection was coming from, not that I was complaining. He then tells me that he realizes that he takes me for granted some times and that he appreciates me. He says that he knows he has a good person on his side and loves me more with each passing day.
          After nine years he still ceases to amaze me! We have our difficult times, but with moments like these all those bad times are a distant memory. I know our love can stand against anything and I truly believe that we are given these hard times to make us lean on eachother more and appreciate eachother. I love my husband and I cannot wait to see what our future has in store for us!!

Open Eyes!

       As I struggle with the challenges of only having one car, I am getting completely engulfed in my new bible study which is properly named "Lord, change my attitude before its too late". How perfect is that? As I read I am completely convicted about my poor attitude over our new situation. I start thinking, this is obviously where God wants me to be right now. Is it a coincidence that I've been put into a study about attitudes at exactly the same time as my family downsizes considerably? It's clear to me that the answer is no. Apparently God wants me to learn something. All I can do at this point is surrender to His will and begin looking deep inside myself to change this bad attitude I have. Who knows, maybe through this process I can be an example to my husband.
       I am greatly humbled by this study and I am only on chapter 1!! I cannot wait to see where God takes me on this journey. Excited, doesn't even begin to describe the emotion I am feeling to better myself and glorify Him.

Cabin Fever!!

One of the many struggles with coping with only having one car is that I am stuck in a house with my 2 girls who get really restless. I can be quite content with just sitting here and being completely lazy. My girls on the other hand, are bouncing off the walls driving me completely nuts. Unfortunately there are no parks within walking distance and most of my fellow mommy friends have husbands that get weekends off so I don't wanna impose myself upon them. (Sigh) Looks like I am gonna have to get quite creative and figure out some activities to keep my girls occupied so I can keep my sanity.

Being a one car family!!

With times being so tough these days in the economy, my family has decided to become a one car family. It's only been a week and already I'm over it! I have got some amazing friends that have been willing to take me to the places I need when my husband has the car, but I can't help but feel guilty!
The freedom to go where I want, when I want I have definitely taken for granted over the years. I know in the long run this is a good thing for the family and that God will bless us with another vehicle when its time. The little things seem to be driving me nuts though. Just being able to go to the bank to pay the rent or take my little one to the park when she is bored, or run to the grocery store to buy ingredients for dinner is a challenge. I definitely have to be a planner now to get everything done when I do get the car.
It's funny too because when we were making the decision to go to one car my husband sold me on the idea when he said he had no problem riding his bike to and from work if need be. I was thrilled to know that a) he would use his Christmas present I bought him a year ago more frequently, b) he'd get some exercise (not that he is overweight or anything) and c) my routine wouldn't change that much. After a week of this one car situation I asked him when he was going to start riding his bike and his reply was "Ummmmm". I'll take that as not anytime soon if ever!!!! I should've known better.
I just need to remind myself that this is but a season in my life and God will get us through!! I need to be grateful that we have at least one car at all and just suck it up and not dwell on it!!! I am very blessed in many ways in my life and who knows what rewards God will grant my family for being disciplined and waiting upon Him to fulfill our needs!!!

Something totally new!

After an emotional day at M2M at my church yesterday, someone told me that I should start to journal my thoughts and feelings so I could relieve myself of the many things going on  in my head. This blog is my interpretation of a journal!
I have never done a blog before in my life. This concept is totally new to me. I tend to write like I talk and so forgive if I do not have proper grammar.
I am very excited to start and share my story with everyone and maybe along the way make someone else out there who may be going through similar situations feel like they are not alone!!