Laughs!!

    Never seems to amaze me how my youngest can make me laugh so hard. She always seems to know when I need a smile. She is only 4 and she has such a personality!! After a long 2 days of jury duty she is the one to lift my spirits.  She will randomly just call my name and much like "Family Guy" I ignore her until she says my name so many times I yell, "What?!" She then looks at me and says, "I love you." I melt. My little Grace is full of stories and lots of love. She tells me that tomorrow we need to go to the nail salon and get our toes done. Really? At age 4 we're already high maintenance? She always gives me a play by play of every activity she is doing, even when she is going to the bathroom. She'll yell, "Mom? I'm going potty!" I think ok, I don't really need to know, but thanks for the update. Her random acts of love are always heartfelt. Outta nowhere she will run up to me and give me kisses and hugs and say, "You're the best mom!" Again, I melt! She is such a perfect little girl, full of love and life and I am so glad God has allowed me to be her mommy. Looking forward to the years ahead.

Amazing Friends!

      Thank God for my amazing friends!! With all that I have going on and with my husband needing to be everywhere as well, I have been desperately trying to find rides to and from places. God has definitely blessed me with some amazing women, because on top of everything else I have going on this week, I got jury duty too! Amazing timing! Luckily (knock on wood), I haven't actually been called in yet, but in case I do I have no ride there. Enter my great friend, Christine.
     Christine is a woman I met last year because our daughters were in the same class last year and luck has it that they share a class this year too. Our girls became instant friends and through their insistence we arranged playdates and now we too are dear friends. This woman has been a Godsent to me. Between driving Maddy home from school occasionally and even watching my girls so I can work she now has offered to drive me to jury duty if I do get called in for it. Seriously? Little things like this make me realize how truly blessed I am even though I tend to bitch about our car situation. It makes me stop and see that at least I have a great support system.
      At the last minute I realize, "oh crap!", I have to get a blood test done on Grace for this program I am in today by 11 or I will be dropped. Again, I have no vehicle. Enter another great friend, Becca.
       I met Becca through church and instantly knew we were gonna be close. She is so real and genuine, a nice refreshing change. I don't feel like I have to pretend I have it all together with her. She takes me like I am, flaws and all. I tell her that I am unable to make it to get the test done and she chimes in that she needs to get the same thing done for her girls so she'll drive me. Mind you, she is totally going out of her way because there is a facility way closer to her to get this done. But no, she insists on taking me and I am completely grateful to her for it.
      In all my trials right now, I am always being shown through someone else that I am blessed beyond words with friends that are completely selfless. These are just two of the woman in my life that have graced me with their amazing friendship this past year and words can't express enough how thankful I am to them. I just wanna be a woman like this, a friend that helps with nothing expected in return and I hope that I can be a blessing to someone else like they are to me.

I Do Have Good Ideas, I Swear!!

      So in dealing with this one car situation, I have been doing a lot of research to try to find solutions to this predicament. I came up with two ideas that I thought would be very effective and helpful. First, I thought well maybe if I drove him to work sometimes and stuck his bicycle in the back of the car I'd dropped him off with his bike and he could ride home. On his ride he could release some endorphins and clear his head so when he does get home he can be completely focused on the kids and I. Plus he would be getting some great exercise too!!  The only reason I even entertained this idea was because HE was the one who said, "If I have to ride my bike, then I will. I like riding my bike."  Secondly, I looked into purchasing a scooter. It is less than $1000 out the door, tax and license included. It takes less than $5 dollars to fill tank and it lasts 100 miles. Perfect!!!! We won't burn through gas in my car which is a V8 and won't add unnecessary miles on the car which is already over 100,000.
     In my head I'm making some excellent points. But before I can even get two sentences out of my mouth his response is, "Absolutely not!" "Why?", I ask. He doesn't give any good argument as to why not, it's just because. Now I automatically think how unreasonable of him. I'm giving perfectly good reasons why this is a wonderful solution to our dilemma and in my head it is a no brainer.
    Now I've never blamed him for our one car situation. I've never thought well, if he was a better provider then we wouldn't be in this situation. Not once, I always attributed our situation to life. Things just happen. Now that I have 2 great solutions and he isn't even opened minded to one of them I can't help but start to feel a little resentful. Can't he see it's whats best for the family? Doesn't he see what a burden this has put on me?
    So now I sit here wondering what else I can do.  How can I help fix this? Why won't he let me help? At the end of the day I realize all I can do is get on my knees and pray. Give it to the Lord and have faith that He will provide. Until then I need to try to have a better attitude. I'm really trying, really.